When people show you who they are, believe them (the first time!). I think Oprah said that. Ok, wait…it might have been Maya Angelou (aren’t they essentially the same person??).
Do we believe them?
Do we believe them the first time?
I hate that part of a broken relationship where you go back and you have to identify the first sign of uncertainty, the first red flag, the first tiny little jab into your precious heart…
ABSOLUTELY HATE IT.
But, face it…we all do it. Even in friendship. We look back and we try to identify that first instance where they fed us a white lie. That first instance where they broke a promise. That first instance when they disappointed us…
But don’t we do the same? Don’t we share bits and pieces of our evil nature (well, we’re not evil but certainly we have the capacity)…? Don’t we act out…express unfavorable opinions…expose “bad” habits? Act possessive? Indicate our disfavor? Become jealous? Remain quiet and sad with hopes that the other person will come in and salvage our emotions??? All in all…don’t we often express insecurity…the very thing we hid so well when we were involved in the chase/game aspect of this union and suddenly become a vulnerable mess of feelings and sappy sentiments?!?
Ahh. I do.
But the truth is, do we really believe people the first time they show us who they are? And when they disappoint, is that really who they are? Disappointing people?
Well…slightly. But we are probably just the same. Reality sets in. Butterflies fly out the window…
aaand…we become who we are in our most comfortable sense.
Now…we’ve all admittedly seen people who faked it, faked it till they got the ring, faked it till they got the house, faked it till they got the marriage certificate…faked it indefinitely (but certainly not forever)…we’ve seen it. The bitchiest, the most conniving, the most underhanded acting sugar-sweet and agreeable. Hooooow do they do it? I almost don’t want to know.
I’d rather be me.
I’d rather be real. It’s just easier. There’s enough faking it in this world (at clubs, weddings, baby showers, when you go to lunch with people you’d rather not invest an hour into…)…I choose not to fake it in my most precious relationships. And so, do I believe people when they disappoint me? Ehh…sometimes. However, I hope they don’t believe me 😉