hate mail. the beginning.

You are hurting me right now. Being unresponsive, not like completely ignoring but being unresponsive, it totally ticks me off. I don’t know who the hell else you’re talking to but you are totally being insensitive to me and disregarding my feelings completely. I hate you for doing this to me. You make me feel so weak—day in and day out. I’m tired of this too. Man, I wish I had the courage to tell you to just FUCK OFF…but I don’t. I’ll miss your pathetic ass.

I really enjoyed all the playfulness we shared over the past couple weeks…it was totally fun and unrealistically sweet and thrilling and exciting all at once. I guess I shoulda realized it was temporary. In fact, I did…but when you’re in the middle of something…the end is really the last thing on your mind.

Anyway…you’re hurting me more and more as I sit here trying to gather the strength to ignore you and be INDIFFERENT. It’s not coming…it’s just not happening…and ya, that makes me sad. It’s humbling but simply sad too.

I dislike you and your character as to these things. How can you be so insensitive? This friendship is based on your selfish convenience. You miss me? When? No, you don’t miss me…just me “being there” so you can talk. You begin to miss me the moment I let go of you…the moment I pull away from you…and I snap back better than ever EACH TIME.

You sure are a lucky bastard…I hate you for that. I hate you so much for that. Let’s see when you’ll *NEED* me next, Asshole. I’ll probably fall again…over and over again…but someday, I’ll hold back and stand tall…then you’ll be the one who’s hurting. I promise you this.

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